Waterboarding Allowed

President Bush vetoed legislation that would ban the CIA from using harsh interrogation methods such as waterboarding to break suspected terrorists because it would end practices that have prevented attacks. Said United States President, the honorable George Walker Bush:

The bill Congress sent me would take away one of the most valuable tools in the war on terror. So today I vetoed it.

Well, I for one, am relieved. Here, on the river of no return, banning any kind of potential watersport would be so unsportsmanlike.

Now, we should create an official sport out of waterboarding, complete with Olympic competitions, to be scored by just how fast your black-ops team can make a participant(must be involuntary) talk.