Chinese Ban American Raisins

Color me surprised:

BEIJING: Raisins and health supplements imported from the United States failed to meet Chinese safety standards and have been returned or destroyed, the country's food safety agency said Friday.

Chinese Inspectors say they found bacteria and sulfur dioxide in products shipped by three American companies, the General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine said.

"The products failed to meet the sanitary standards of China," the agency said in a brief notice posted on its Web site.

Now, just what would those standards be like? Based on recent experiences, they may be something like:

On fish:

-1) When fish farming in rivers, no raw sewage excreta--human or animal-- should be seen floating on the surface of the water where the fish are fed.
-2) Any fish found with more than two eyes will not be consumed domesticly, they are to be shipped to America... in lead containers... quickly.

On toothpaste:

-1) Toothpaste that glows in the dark is to be sent to America.
-2) The disclaimer "Made in china" on the toothpaste tube is to be replaced with one reading "distributed by...(pick good American-sounding company name)".

On food in general:

-1) Any food product found to have killed more than 500 hundred remote villagers will be recalled, re-labled "pet food", and sent to America.

Yessir... standards we can feel safe with, standards we can all live by.