On Monday, genealogists added another notable figure to Obama's unlikely list of relatives: John Punch, a Virginia slave who some historians consider the first African enslaved in the colonies.
The connection to Punch, an indentured servant forced into slavery in 1640, comes from Obama’s mother’s side of the family, said Joseph Shumway, a genealogist with Ancestry.com, the website that has been researching the president’s family tree for years.
Joseph Shumway, Ancestry.com genealogist, claims that Obama's mother - a Kansas farm girl - was actually related to Punch, who they say slept with a white woman in the 1600's, and the resulting children became land owners in Virginia... And the ancestors of Ann Dunham.
So let's see here... Barak Obama, son of a black African and a white Kansas farm girl, is in reality the great-great-great-great(however many is necessary) grandson of the first American slave because his great-great-great-great(however many is necessary) grandfather slept with a white woman 400 years ago in colonial America. And of course they then rushed down to the 1600's version of the local vital statistics office to let the world know of their dalliance. Yeah, I can see that happening...
You just can't make this crap up.
Next thing you know, they'll be telling us that John Punch came here on the Mayflower.
One has to wonder if Mr. Shumway kept a straight face through all this. I know I sure as hell couldn't.