Today DRUDGE has a story about a New York (where else?) couple that is going a full year without using any toilet paper.
I read the entire three-page article, full of verbose and flowery descriptions on the present-day lifesytle of these "no-impact" space cadets--going where no man, woman and infant has gone before--but nary a word anywhere about what they are using to replace the job that the toilet paper previously did.
For a real side-splitter, go read the article. The frosting on the cake is that these no-impacters live in "an elegant prewar on Lower Fifth Avenue", and have a very young daughter of diaper age living in this no-impact enviornment of a home compactor("it's sour odor hovering oh-so-slightly in the air..."), fluorescent bulbs and beeswax candles, apparantly not using things such as cleaning chemicals or modern medicines, all in effort to use nothing that leaves a carbon footprint during it's manufacture.
Gotta love it. To quote that rather slow character played so well by Tom Hanks, "Stupid is as stupid does".
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