My wife and I went to one of those members-only, big-box discount stores yesterday and noticed they had turntables for sale for a hundred bucks. It came complete with needle, dust cover, RCA phono outputs, an output cable and software for your computer so you could put all your LP's onto disc if you really wanted.
We have a large collection of LP's -Vinyl to you modern intellectuals that have re-named everything - and wanted to know what kind of needle the unit had. Well, it has a stylus made of high-quality composite plastic, I'll have you know. The store clerk told me so.
Diamond needle? Sapphire? Or just a pointy bit of steel? I still don't know, even after a website visit to the manufacturer.
I mentioned to him we had an extensive collection of Arthur Fiedler conducting the Boston Pops in mint condition, a large selection of irreplaceable Kingston Trio on 33's, and didn't want an inferior needle gouging out the grooves.
Hello? Total blank stare time.
I said to him, "You've never heard of either of those, have you."
He said "No."
I then said, "But you know all about rap, right?"
His response was that we wasn't really into rap. He was more of a sixties kind of music guy.
Wife says she thinks he was just being sarcastic. I think he was expressing his vast lack of knowledge.
Turns out the only thing he knew about "vinyl" was that it's "Noisy".
You people with teenaged daughters? You should be grateful for guys like him, who are not "into" rap with messages like "First I'm gonna f*ck the bitch, and then I'm gonna slit her throat", but instead is into the sixties kind of music that promoted "Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll", the music put out by the Haight-Ashbury free-love crowd, the ones that made Gonorrhea a household name. At least your daughter will survive.
I suppose that's a win of some sort.
Note:
The above rap lyrics? They're not made up. They came from a piece of filth someone claimed to be "music".
2 comments:
You need to talk to my stepfather.
If it came on vinyl, he probably has it. He's got 14000 of the dang things. Many of them are mint or near mint condition, most good condition, much of it very hard to find.
Of course, computers, he's as knowledgeable about them as your store clerk was about vinyl history...
"vinyl" isn't noisy at all if it's processed through a graphic equalizer with Dolby S filtering.
Some of the last models of high-end turntables even had it built in, so no "cracking and popping" would be transferred to those hissing, rumbling cassette tapes!
BTW, did your store clerk have long hair, a goatee, coke-bottle glasses & talk in an effeminate whimper?
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