Sunday, November 06, 2011

YOU Fill In The Blanks

HR8791… January 5, 2009


Here is a transcript for your benefit of the reading of HR8791 as shown on C-SPAN:

“Congress shall now vote for approval of HR8791 the Homeland terrorism preparedness bill…

Said bill requests emergency response funding up to and including… um I’m sorry this section is CLASSIFIED dollars to prepare for a national level terrorist attack and or attack from CLASSIFIED. Funding for first responder personnel and vehicles would be doubled in the event if said attack leads to more then 80% of national population being effected by a CLASSIFIED. This funding shall commence in conjunction with the first attack on CLASSIFIED or the first large scale out break of CLASSIFIED, dependant on which comes first. Civilian and military units shall be trained in containment and combat of CLASSIFIED, including irradiated CLASSIFIED, with possibility of CLASSIFIED, airborne CLASSIFIED, flesh eating CLASSIFIED, and or all of the above in such event as CLASSIFIED spewing CLASSIFIED escape, are release or otherwise become uncontrollable. Air Force units may also be directed to combat said CLASSIFIED, do to their enormous size and other worldly strengths. Should event occur in urban areas, JESUS... umm that's CLASSIFIED far surpassing our darkest nightmares, should casualties exceed CLASSIFIED, body disposal actions shall be halted and associated resources shall be reallocated to CLASSIFIED underground CLASSIFIED protected birthing centers. A new bill of rights shall be drafted and approved by CLASSIFIED .

Having now reviewed the bill I ask you now to Please cast your vote.”

Wowzers!

What the hell are those lunatics in Washington up to now?

"... containment and combat of CLASSIFIED, including irradiated CLASSIFIED, with the possibility of CLASSIFIED, airborne CLASSIFIED, flesh eating CLASSIFIED, and or all of the above in such event as CLASSIFIED spewing CLASSIFIED escape, are release(d) or otherwise become uncontrollable..."

Good lord, he talks of preventing available resources to bury the dead and sending them to CLASSIFIED underground CLASSIFIED birthing shelters. Perhaps "birthing" is actually "berthing". The difference is enormous.

Whatever they think it is that's about to happen, those Washington SOB's have their own asses covered.

Sleep well, citizen, your government has it all under control.

And the Air Force also... Those bombs that just might start falling all around you might be some of the few remaining products manufactured in the good old USA.

And a new Bill of Rights. It won't affect you tho, as your bombed out corpse rots away in some annihilated urban area.







4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Bob! I'm happy to say this one was just an Onion video: http://www.theonion.com/video/proposed-classified-bill-will-defend-against-flesh,14175/

But the fact that I thought it was possible until I looked it up is, I think, the point.

Galt-in-Da-Box said...

Just off hand, it sounds like they are messing around with some seriously dangerous shit, and this is Plan B incase such gets out of it's cage...What did Spielberg know that we don't?

Bob said...

Whats got me wondering in all this is the 44 million does of anthrax shots the government has bought.

Might be a clue there....

Bob said...

Anonymous:

I've researched this thing from A-hole to appetite and am still not certain it was a hoax, although it surely must be.

Still, I'm suspicious enough of the government to consider they did the Onion thing themselves to misdirect and confuse.